Yesterday afternoon Dave called me at work to see if I wanted to go to a Rotary Club banquet with him. Since I love hanging out with my brothers, I of course said yes and happily ditched choir practice to join him. The banquet was particularly interesting to me because it was held at my old highschool in honor of the top ten students in each grade. It turned out to be a lot of fun. Some of the highlights of my evening:
The introduction: The Rotary Club president introduced me to the entire crowd of about 200 as Dave's wife. Dave was quick to correct him.
The job offer: The woman to my left at dinner told me to consider working at Smith Barney with her, should I ever tire of my American Funds job. Where do I apply?
The former teacher: Mr. Biggs. Freshman year history. Suffered at the hands of my friend Gina in a Lolita-esque way when she developed an obvious crush on him our sophomore year. Woke up to find his house covered in tortillas one morning after Gina and Elisa and I got bored one night. Dated Gina for four years beginning the fall after we graduated. Seemed a little embarrassed to see me last night. I wonder why?
The former classmate: Rico. The screw-up of AP English and the boy we all picked on and loved, he now teaches honors English at our lovely alma mater. How did this happen? How did Rico become a grown up with wise and witty things to say about his students? Weird....
The babies that grew up: Among the honorees in the freshman class was a set of twins. I babysat them when they were newborns. I was thirteen. What was their mother thinking? Anyway, they were there looking cool and smart.
And then the icing on the cake came as we were leaving for the night. Dave walked me to my car and then I drove him around to the front of the school to his car. We were talking and laughing about our memories of dear old Whittier Christian. We said goodnight and both drove off. Dave called my cell phone a minute later. I turned my music down so I could hear him as he said, "You know what the best part is? My CD player is playing the same music it was when I drove out of that parking lot 15 years ago." U2, naturally. The Joshua Tree album. I laughed at Dave and thought, "What a weirdo!" We hung up and I turned my radio back up, only to realize.....same story here! The Cure's "Halo." Fell in love with it in highschool. I guess we're both weirdos.....
4.29.2004
Rip-off artist
Hope you don't mind, Barbara! I stole this idea, but figured it would be okay since you practically dared me to do it! For the rest of you invisibles, the idea is to describe yourself by answering the questions using the titles of songs from just one band. Barbara, being the rebel type, changed the rules and used book titles. But I, being a good little girl, will answer using song titles exclusively from the Cure's enormous collection, since I know them the best of any band. But I might go through and see if I can use U2, too....
Are you male or female: "Sugar Girl"
How old are you: "Young American"
Describe yourself: "More Than This"
How do some people feel about you: "A Foolish Arrangement"
How do you feel about yourself: "The Perfect Girl" (Sorry, sorry, you know I'm kidding....)
Describe your ex girlfriend/boyfriend: "Strange Attraction"
Describe your views on significant others and crushes: "Just Like Heaven"
Describe what you want: "To Wish Impossible Things"
Describe how you live: "The Last Day of Summer"
Describe how you love: "Forever"
Share a few words of wisdom: "Just Say Yes!"
And for the U2 fans out there:
Are you male or female: "Lady with the Spinning Head"
How old are you: "40" (Umm...minus 13....)
Describe yourself: "Helter Skelter"
How do some people feel about you: "Trying to Throw Your Arms Around the World"
How do you feel about yourself: "Running to Stand Still"
Describe your ex girlfriend/boyfriend: "Out of Control"
Describe your views on significant others and crushes: "The Sweetest Thing"
Describe what you want: "All I Want is You"
Describe how you live: "Dancing Barefoot"
Describe how you love: "Into the Heart"
Share a few words of wisdom: "Rejoice!"
Are you male or female: "Sugar Girl"
How old are you: "Young American"
Describe yourself: "More Than This"
How do some people feel about you: "A Foolish Arrangement"
How do you feel about yourself: "The Perfect Girl" (Sorry, sorry, you know I'm kidding....)
Describe your ex girlfriend/boyfriend: "Strange Attraction"
Describe your views on significant others and crushes: "Just Like Heaven"
Describe what you want: "To Wish Impossible Things"
Describe how you live: "The Last Day of Summer"
Describe how you love: "Forever"
Share a few words of wisdom: "Just Say Yes!"
And for the U2 fans out there:
Are you male or female: "Lady with the Spinning Head"
How old are you: "40" (Umm...minus 13....)
Describe yourself: "Helter Skelter"
How do some people feel about you: "Trying to Throw Your Arms Around the World"
How do you feel about yourself: "Running to Stand Still"
Describe your ex girlfriend/boyfriend: "Out of Control"
Describe your views on significant others and crushes: "The Sweetest Thing"
Describe what you want: "All I Want is You"
Describe how you live: "Dancing Barefoot"
Describe how you love: "Into the Heart"
Share a few words of wisdom: "Rejoice!"
4.27.2004
Found it!
And now for something completely different. I hope. This is probably my most recent poem, which, sadly, is three years old. Time to get back to writing, I think. I used to think that I could only write when I was feeling tortured, but then Paul Buchanan gave me a tip that opened my eyes forever. He said: "Find moments that resonate, and start with that." And THAT has made all the difference. It's a lot harder to write poetry when you're not just spewing emotion everywhere. So hopefully this poem does his teaching the tiniest bit of justice. I like it, because it brings back memories of growing up and summer nights. And the weather the past few days brought it to mind. So here you go.
Is This Heaven?
In your apartment at night
it's 15 degrees hotter than outside:
even with the door and windows open
the air barely moves
& you set a fan humming,
droning lazily in the hall.
Crickets outside sing the dew down
sing the heat up out of the asphalt
rising to your window.
It's shorts and barefoot summer,
iced tea at midnight summer,
too hot to think of moving.
The radio clicks softly as you turn it on
and static breaks the still
before you tune in the game
& Vin Scully's voice -
familiar as your heartbeat,
comforting as night -
the same as it's been forever:
"Piazza's at the plate with two men on base..."
You sink to the couch behind me,
touch my shoulder as I lean back,
& rest your cool glass against my arm.
With my eyes closed I can hear the crack of the bat,
can almost smell the fresh-cut grass...
6/3/01
Is This Heaven?
In your apartment at night
it's 15 degrees hotter than outside:
even with the door and windows open
the air barely moves
& you set a fan humming,
droning lazily in the hall.
Crickets outside sing the dew down
sing the heat up out of the asphalt
rising to your window.
It's shorts and barefoot summer,
iced tea at midnight summer,
too hot to think of moving.
The radio clicks softly as you turn it on
and static breaks the still
before you tune in the game
& Vin Scully's voice -
familiar as your heartbeat,
comforting as night -
the same as it's been forever:
"Piazza's at the plate with two men on base..."
You sink to the couch behind me,
touch my shoulder as I lean back,
& rest your cool glass against my arm.
With my eyes closed I can hear the crack of the bat,
can almost smell the fresh-cut grass...
6/3/01
4.26.2004
Traitor
I think everyone goes through that angsty teenager phase, where everything is so intense and everything matters SO MUCH and nothing will EVER be the same ever again now that your best friend told that one guy that you think he's hot. Right? Yeah. I had it bad. And I swore back then that I'd never laugh at my teenage self, and that I'd remember how it all felt and how utterly horrible all that unrequited love was. I remember creating entire relationships in my head based on one conversation with a guy, and how devastated I was when he started dating someone. And how I just knew I'd never get over it, and never love again.
That being said..... I was cleaning out our second bedroom the other day and ran across my most recent book of poems. So I sat down and read them. Needless to say, most of them are pure trash. I can still feel the sentiment behind them, though, and I see what I was trying to do, so they're still a little to close to my heart to laugh at. But then I pulled out my poems from highschool. Forgive me, my poor, heartbroken 16-year-old self, but I laughed and groaned and blushed all the way through them. So here, for your amusement, is one of my - ahem - gems. For quite a while I considered this my best poem. Inspired by a lotta lotta Cure songs and a boy that looked like Robert Smith, I actually titled this one "Untitled!" Let the laughter begin.
Silently, slowly, she walks to the river
And stands at its edge - for now and forever.
The wind whips her hair, her garments of white
And in her left hand the blade of a knife.
In the darkeing night mist mingles with tears
And her eyes look back on the torturous years.
"They don't understand, they don't care!" she cries
As she holds up the blade in front of her eyes
And sees her reflection so twisted, so cold
The despair in the face that has not yet grown old.
They won't ever see the suffering and pain
The heartache that played out an empty refrain
The sadness, rejection, deceit and betrayal
The far-away echoes of a love that had failed.
So forsaken by life that death seemed a friend,
She lowered the blade to bring life to an end
And choked back a sob and stifled a thought
As he came to her mind and tore at her heart.
She paused for a moment to bid him goodbye
And then lifted her wrist to the dome of the sky.
She watched as the knife slid and severed the vein
And cried out in defeat as her life slipped away.
1/17/93
School psychologist's dream, right? This poem was actually the turning point where my writing went from pretty and light to seriously dark. It was followed closely by blank verses with the enchanting titles "Alone," "Dead," "Prayers for Death," and "Innocence Burning." Yuck. My parents probably should have had me under constant surveillance! But it all turned out okay in the end....I think.....
That being said..... I was cleaning out our second bedroom the other day and ran across my most recent book of poems. So I sat down and read them. Needless to say, most of them are pure trash. I can still feel the sentiment behind them, though, and I see what I was trying to do, so they're still a little to close to my heart to laugh at. But then I pulled out my poems from highschool. Forgive me, my poor, heartbroken 16-year-old self, but I laughed and groaned and blushed all the way through them. So here, for your amusement, is one of my - ahem - gems. For quite a while I considered this my best poem. Inspired by a lotta lotta Cure songs and a boy that looked like Robert Smith, I actually titled this one "Untitled!" Let the laughter begin.
Silently, slowly, she walks to the river
And stands at its edge - for now and forever.
The wind whips her hair, her garments of white
And in her left hand the blade of a knife.
In the darkeing night mist mingles with tears
And her eyes look back on the torturous years.
"They don't understand, they don't care!" she cries
As she holds up the blade in front of her eyes
And sees her reflection so twisted, so cold
The despair in the face that has not yet grown old.
They won't ever see the suffering and pain
The heartache that played out an empty refrain
The sadness, rejection, deceit and betrayal
The far-away echoes of a love that had failed.
So forsaken by life that death seemed a friend,
She lowered the blade to bring life to an end
And choked back a sob and stifled a thought
As he came to her mind and tore at her heart.
She paused for a moment to bid him goodbye
And then lifted her wrist to the dome of the sky.
She watched as the knife slid and severed the vein
And cried out in defeat as her life slipped away.
1/17/93
School psychologist's dream, right? This poem was actually the turning point where my writing went from pretty and light to seriously dark. It was followed closely by blank verses with the enchanting titles "Alone," "Dead," "Prayers for Death," and "Innocence Burning." Yuck. My parents probably should have had me under constant surveillance! But it all turned out okay in the end....I think.....
Names
Checked out Barbara's blog the other day (barbaraj.blogspot.com, in case there's anyone but Barbara reading this!) and found the link to the page that will assign you a horribly British name. And found that there are many other types of new names you can get for yourself on that site as well!! Since I have probably the second most common name for girls my age (beaten out only by Jen), I'm always looking for something more original. Here, for your amusement, are all my new names!
My horribly British name: Daisy Callaghan
My hippie name: Aquamarine Jolly or Heart Birchwood
My fairy name: Daisy Pollen Flower
My fluffy kitty name: Samantha Merryweather
My pub name: The Ratty Alcohol
My goth name: Flirting with Suicide
My Monty Python name: Killer Throatwarbler
And for good measure, my Wu-name: Ungrateful Ninja
I'm slightly disturbed that the name Daisy turned up twice on the list. Are they trying to tell me something? And wasn't Daisy Callahan one of the main characters in The Great Gatsby? Anyway, watch out for these names, as I may be publishing under them soon. Right. Oh, and by the way: Barbara's fairy name is Marzipan Silvery Nightingale. I'm jealous!
My horribly British name: Daisy Callaghan
My hippie name: Aquamarine Jolly or Heart Birchwood
My fairy name: Daisy Pollen Flower
My fluffy kitty name: Samantha Merryweather
My pub name: The Ratty Alcohol
My goth name: Flirting with Suicide
My Monty Python name: Killer Throatwarbler
And for good measure, my Wu-name: Ungrateful Ninja
I'm slightly disturbed that the name Daisy turned up twice on the list. Are they trying to tell me something? And wasn't Daisy Callahan one of the main characters in The Great Gatsby? Anyway, watch out for these names, as I may be publishing under them soon. Right. Oh, and by the way: Barbara's fairy name is Marzipan Silvery Nightingale. I'm jealous!
4.17.2004
Shocker
Just found out that my 17-year-old cousin, who lives in China, is going to Kabul, Afghanistan for a week. By himself. I am scared. I am trusting.
Tourists
Woke up this morning to rain and thunder, which was somewhat disappointing after a beautiful week of typical Southern CA sun. After lazing around for a while, we decided to head for Ruby's on the Newport Pier for lunch. Since this is the end of spring break, there were more tourists there than usual. You can always pick them out, they're the ones wearing shorts and t shirts and playing in the water even though it's FREEZING! We were finishing up our lunch (beach burger and fish and chips, YUM!) when we noticed our favorite tourist of the day. He was wearing the requisite shorts and t shirt, and was fishing off the end of the pier. He'd gotten a bag of fries from Ruby's and set it on top of a trash can so that he could fish and munch at the same time. Now, there are two things that every true southern Californian knows: one, never turn your back on the ocean, and two, never turn your back on the sea gulls when you have anything they might possibly want. So, the fishing guy walked away to get his other pole, and this sea gull, seeing his moment, hopped up and scarfed a bunch of fries, then flew off. The fisherman came back, and, having missed the whole thing, started eating the fries! And everyone in the restaurant laughed. A minute later the guy left again, the sea gull came back to finish the job, and the guy caught it red-beaked. And then he laughed with the rest of us. I could sympathize with the guy. I almost lost my camera to a group of sea gulls a few weeks ago. I didn't think they'd be interested in eating it, but I guess I was mistaken!
Publishing peeve
Lately I've been reading Louisa May Alcott. It turns out she's written a bunch of stuff, not just Little Women. I've read some of it, but the other day saw that she'd written a book I'd never heard of, called Good Wives, a sequel to Little Women. In my joy at finding new material from a loved author, I rushed to the bookstore to buy my very own copy! The only copies they had were wrapped in plastic, presumably to keep the special edition necklace (real gold, I'm sure!) from becoming detached. I later found out that the plastic wrapping was really a dastardly plot! I began unwrapping the book on the way to the car. Thankfully, Nathan was driving so I could devote my whole attention to my new treasure. I opened up the book and excitedly began to read the first chapter, only to find that it was about Meg's wedding, which I'd read in Little Women. Hoping that it was just kind of a "flashback" sort of device, I flipped to the center of the book. No luck! As I continued to look at chapter titles I discovered that the book was no more than the second half of Little Women, published in its own volume! Why would they do this to me, the unsuspecting, trusting reader!?! You can't even FIND a copy of Little Women that doesn't include the second half, so what's the point in publishing the second half by itself? Obviously, the publisher knew this. Hence, the plastic wrapping and the ploy of the free necklace! How I wish I'd chosen to buy the copy of Jo's Boys instead......
Barbara, I hope you never get involved in something so deceitful! Ha!
Barbara, I hope you never get involved in something so deceitful! Ha!
4.13.2004
100 Things
Big thanks to Barbara for getting me up and running! I am definitely a technological idiot. So finally, a decent post! Maybe. We'll see. I'm stealing Babs's idea and doing a 100 things list! This is all you will ever need to know about me. Just kidding. Here you go.....
1. I am a Christian.
2. A Bible-believing, practicing one.
3. I have attended the same church since I was born.
4. A year and a half ago I married the last great single guy on the planet!
5. Maybe. I hear there are still a few good ones out there.
6. My parents have been married for 38 years.
7. We will follow their example.
8. I have two older brothers by birth.
9. I have 3 older sisters, 1 older brother, 2 younger brothers, and 2 younger sisters by marriage.
10. I have SIX neices: Rachel (6), Morgan (4), Zoe (3), Naomi (3), Lindsay (2), and Eszter (1 month).
11. I am a youngest child.
12. But I'm not spoiled.
13. But I am irresponsible a lot of the time.
14. My name means follower of Christ.
15. It also means free spirit.
16. I believe that these two things are not mutually exclusive.
17. I am sometimes called Bug by those who love me.
18. I am called Freak by my best friend, who shares my name.
19. I am obsessed with toe socks.
20. I am a huge Cure fan.
21. I have more books than I have bookshelves for.
22. For me, reading is right up there with eating and breathing.
23. I would rather read than sleep a decent number of hours.
24. Fitzgerald is my favorite author.
25. Followed closely by Steinbeck, Wilde, Flagg, and Lewis.
26. I will probably never live outside of Southern California.
27. But I will travel the world!
28. My favorite far-away cities are London, Chiang Mai (Thailand), and Mexican Hat (Utah).
29. Just kidding about the Utah part.
30. My newest hobby is geocaching (geocaching.com), which Nathan and I like to do on the weekends.
31. I believe Starbucks is a sign of the times.
32. The end times.
33. It may be one of the plagues.
34. My favorite movies are Gone with the Wind and Singing in the Rain.
35. And recently, Bend It Like Beckham.
36. I have one calico cat named Payasa (it means clown in Spanish).
37. I live in a neighborhood where every night at about 9:45 a man drives down the street in a
white van, honks, gets out, and yells "SANCHEZ!" at the top of his voice.
38. This has become one of my favorite things.
39. I am an ocean person.
40. I love to drive, especially when I have a lot on my mind.
41. I have never broken a bone.
42. I have, however, drunk dishwashing detergent.
43. I often regress to reading the books I loved as a child and a teenager.
44. I am not afraid of heights.
45. But when I'm up high I'm sometimes afraid I'll jump.
46. It turns out this is a common fear.
47. New experiences frighten and excite me at the same time.
48. I like to watch wax melt.
49. I am happy in all kinds of weather.
50. I am an introvert who has learned to be an extrovert on occasion.
51. I kept a journal for 14 years.
52. I love to write.
53. I love to put olives on the ends of my fingers and then eat them (olives, not fingers).
54. I like fog when I don't have to drive in it.
55. I enjoy being alone.
56. I am addicted to Harry Potter.
57. I still sleep with a stuffed animal.
58. Nathan had a hard time with this at first, but he's adjusted.
59. I love studying history.
60. I collect old fruit crate labels.
61. I love Louisa May Alcott's books for their simplicity and truth.
62. I hate talking on the phone, except to the select few.
63. I am sometimes painfully shy, and this leads people to think I'm a snob.
64. You know who you are.
65. I am too opinionated.
66. But I've learned to keep my mouth shut.
67. I am trying to master the art of photography.
68. I am also trying to master the art of living in the present.
69. I sometimes think I should have been born in the early 20th century.
70. I am an INFP.
71. I have ten fingers and ten toes (in case you were wondering).
72. Or, if you want to get technical, eight fingers and two thumbs.
73. I am not a creative memories person.
74. But I am creative in how I preserve memories.
75. I am not career-oriented.
76. I am a risk-taker.
77. I have been known to make a fool of myself in order to avoid regretting a missed opportunity.
78. Some of my best experiences have resulted from taking the risk, though.
79. I enjoy the sound of light traffic when I'm trying to fall asleep.
80. I am more of a city person than I once thought.
81. I am not very competitive.
82. I am bad at confrontation.
83. I am a very big believer in traditions.
84. I have never played a sport.
85. But I LOVE watching baseball.
86. I have a bad habit of picking my nails.
87. I don't know what color my hair really is.
88. I love to sing, but I'm not that good at it.
89. My choir director graciously overlooks this.
90. I daydream a lot.
91. I love to be outdoors.
92. But I'm not "outdoorsy."
93. I have authority issues.
94. I work where Office Space was filmed (or might as well).
95. I love the way children's eyes look in the sunlight.
96. I love the way pregnant women put their hands on their bellies and listen inside themselves.
97. "The Weight of Glory" by C.S. Lewis is one of the best things I've ever read.
98. I love playing with sidewalk chalk.
99. I love being quiet.
100. I love being done with this list.....for the third time......
1. I am a Christian.
2. A Bible-believing, practicing one.
3. I have attended the same church since I was born.
4. A year and a half ago I married the last great single guy on the planet!
5. Maybe. I hear there are still a few good ones out there.
6. My parents have been married for 38 years.
7. We will follow their example.
8. I have two older brothers by birth.
9. I have 3 older sisters, 1 older brother, 2 younger brothers, and 2 younger sisters by marriage.
10. I have SIX neices: Rachel (6), Morgan (4), Zoe (3), Naomi (3), Lindsay (2), and Eszter (1 month).
11. I am a youngest child.
12. But I'm not spoiled.
13. But I am irresponsible a lot of the time.
14. My name means follower of Christ.
15. It also means free spirit.
16. I believe that these two things are not mutually exclusive.
17. I am sometimes called Bug by those who love me.
18. I am called Freak by my best friend, who shares my name.
19. I am obsessed with toe socks.
20. I am a huge Cure fan.
21. I have more books than I have bookshelves for.
22. For me, reading is right up there with eating and breathing.
23. I would rather read than sleep a decent number of hours.
24. Fitzgerald is my favorite author.
25. Followed closely by Steinbeck, Wilde, Flagg, and Lewis.
26. I will probably never live outside of Southern California.
27. But I will travel the world!
28. My favorite far-away cities are London, Chiang Mai (Thailand), and Mexican Hat (Utah).
29. Just kidding about the Utah part.
30. My newest hobby is geocaching (geocaching.com), which Nathan and I like to do on the weekends.
31. I believe Starbucks is a sign of the times.
32. The end times.
33. It may be one of the plagues.
34. My favorite movies are Gone with the Wind and Singing in the Rain.
35. And recently, Bend It Like Beckham.
36. I have one calico cat named Payasa (it means clown in Spanish).
37. I live in a neighborhood where every night at about 9:45 a man drives down the street in a
white van, honks, gets out, and yells "SANCHEZ!" at the top of his voice.
38. This has become one of my favorite things.
39. I am an ocean person.
40. I love to drive, especially when I have a lot on my mind.
41. I have never broken a bone.
42. I have, however, drunk dishwashing detergent.
43. I often regress to reading the books I loved as a child and a teenager.
44. I am not afraid of heights.
45. But when I'm up high I'm sometimes afraid I'll jump.
46. It turns out this is a common fear.
47. New experiences frighten and excite me at the same time.
48. I like to watch wax melt.
49. I am happy in all kinds of weather.
50. I am an introvert who has learned to be an extrovert on occasion.
51. I kept a journal for 14 years.
52. I love to write.
53. I love to put olives on the ends of my fingers and then eat them (olives, not fingers).
54. I like fog when I don't have to drive in it.
55. I enjoy being alone.
56. I am addicted to Harry Potter.
57. I still sleep with a stuffed animal.
58. Nathan had a hard time with this at first, but he's adjusted.
59. I love studying history.
60. I collect old fruit crate labels.
61. I love Louisa May Alcott's books for their simplicity and truth.
62. I hate talking on the phone, except to the select few.
63. I am sometimes painfully shy, and this leads people to think I'm a snob.
64. You know who you are.
65. I am too opinionated.
66. But I've learned to keep my mouth shut.
67. I am trying to master the art of photography.
68. I am also trying to master the art of living in the present.
69. I sometimes think I should have been born in the early 20th century.
70. I am an INFP.
71. I have ten fingers and ten toes (in case you were wondering).
72. Or, if you want to get technical, eight fingers and two thumbs.
73. I am not a creative memories person.
74. But I am creative in how I preserve memories.
75. I am not career-oriented.
76. I am a risk-taker.
77. I have been known to make a fool of myself in order to avoid regretting a missed opportunity.
78. Some of my best experiences have resulted from taking the risk, though.
79. I enjoy the sound of light traffic when I'm trying to fall asleep.
80. I am more of a city person than I once thought.
81. I am not very competitive.
82. I am bad at confrontation.
83. I am a very big believer in traditions.
84. I have never played a sport.
85. But I LOVE watching baseball.
86. I have a bad habit of picking my nails.
87. I don't know what color my hair really is.
88. I love to sing, but I'm not that good at it.
89. My choir director graciously overlooks this.
90. I daydream a lot.
91. I love to be outdoors.
92. But I'm not "outdoorsy."
93. I have authority issues.
94. I work where Office Space was filmed (or might as well).
95. I love the way children's eyes look in the sunlight.
96. I love the way pregnant women put their hands on their bellies and listen inside themselves.
97. "The Weight of Glory" by C.S. Lewis is one of the best things I've ever read.
98. I love playing with sidewalk chalk.
99. I love being quiet.
100. I love being done with this list.....for the third time......
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