9.05.2006

Who is Daniel Cook and why is he being groomed to take over the world?

This morning I schlepped all our laundry down to the laundry room along with the detergent, the quarters, and the dryer sheets. I promptly dropped one of the dryer sheets behind the dryer. It's irretrievable. I suppose it's indicative of the kind of day I'm going to have.

At five o'clock this morning I gave up on trying to sleep. So I laid there in bed, watching the ceiling fan, listening to the trains, taking note that the sprinklers come on at 5:30. For those of you that know me, you know that if I'm awake there's a song stuck in my head. At 5:00 it was a really irritating worship song that, more often than not, when sung in church sounds like it's being sung by the mice from Babe. So I tried to drive it out. Generally when I'm trying to get rid of a song the one that comes to mind to replace it is "The Ghost in You" by the Psychedelic Furs. But I'm tired of that one, so I tried for another. Unfortunately, what came up was the theme song of the Disney short program about Daniel Cook. His theme song is so annoying, and his program makes me uncomfortable in that swimming in a dark pool kind of a way. I know it's harmless, but it feels like there's some hidden evil there anyway. Daniel Cook is a 7-year-old who gets to learn all these cool professions. Innocent, right? But he never smiles, and when he laughs it sounds like Mr. Hyde, and he uses words that sound freakishly large coming from one so young. And then there's his theme song. I find myself humming it at odd times, and I can only assume that Daniel Cook is using it to mind-control us, and that eventually he'll take off the costume, reveal that he's really an ancient man who probably looks a lot like John Kerry (i.e. the grim reaper), and force us all into menial labor to build his evil empire.

My brain finally settled on "Skin and Bones" by Owen. When I fell asleep around 6:15 I dreamt of square lemons.

5 comments:

Sarah said...

Ohmygosh. I just learned who Daniel Cook is on Saturday. Apparently Im a rare person that "doesn't" know who Daniel Cook is at first glance of his carrot-topped head.

Anyway.. may I link this from my blog? I have nothing more interesting to put anyways.

Thanks!

Kristy said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Kristy said...

Link away! I'm flattered. :)

Stay as far from Daniel Cook as you can. For your own good.

the cowells said...

um...please...lay off the whisky

Kristy said...

It would be more appropriate to say lay off the tragedy. But I can't. Would if I could....