Driving Fast

Currently listening to: Puzzle by Dada. Reminds me of: my sophomore year of college.

Since the advent of Judah I have had to drive Nathan's car instead of mine. For those of you that know me, you know that this amounts to a mild form of torture. I love my car. I dreamed of it for years and finally bought it just about 5 and a half years ago. Perfect. Mustang GT, stick shift, convertible, black with black leather interior. Named her Maya. Until just 2 weeks ago, my baby. Well, I've got a new baby now, and he's worth the sacrifice. But I won't say I don't miss my car. Fortunately, Nathan's car is sufficiently fast, too. Actually faster than mine. It's a 1997 Impala SS with a Corvette engine. Nice, but just not as much fun as mine.

Yesterday I took my car out for a farewell drive. Yes, we're selling her. This weekend, if possible. I'll soon be the proud driver of a Chevy Tahoe (probably). So yesterday I fed Judah, handed him over to Nathan, and grabbed my keys. I took off on my favorite route up through the Heights. Maya handled the road perfectly, as usual, hugging all the curves, flying low and fast. But I got a little too exuberant. Didn't crash or anything, but actually felt her hop sideways on a turn I took a little too fast. I guess I'm not used to driving her much anymore. I had the top down, of course, and the air was cool but felt good. And you wouldn't believe the way the Heights smells in the spring time! Yes, even in southern California you can smell the trees and flowers and wet earth sometimes. It was one of those afternoons. I had the Dave Matthews Live at Luther College album on, and it was perfect. A perfect goodbye to my car. I know it seems silly to place so much importance on it, but I feel like getting rid of Maya means finally stepping over that line into responsible parenthood. I know that it will be worth it and so rewarding, but right now it just seems scary and irreversible.

I hope you all don't think I'm a horrible mother already! I've been told that all new parents feel this way at some point. I think that's probably true. And I think that anyone who tells you they didn't feel like that is probably lying. :)